This Is The Problem With The 'Uncertainty' Stage Of Any Relationship I withdrew and threw myself into some long-neglected hobbies.
Table of contents
- This Is The Problem With The ‘Uncertainty’ Stage Of Any Relationship | Thought Catalog
- How long should the uncertainty stage last?
- This Is The Problem With The ‘Uncertainty’ Stage Of Any Relationship
- When Is He Going To Propose?
I began acting cold and aloof. I stopped calling and sending cute text messages.
This Is The Problem With The ‘Uncertainty’ Stage Of Any Relationship | Thought Catalog
I stopped all girlfriend-type behaviors entirely. I withdrew and threw myself into some long-neglected hobbies. Not surprisingly, one rainy Thursday afternoon Jack asked that we meet for coffee. When I showed up and saw him, I thought I knew exactly what he was going to say, before he even opened his mouth. Regardless of what I was expecting, I tried to politely listen to his breakup speech.
I started to wonder if I should even bother, after all, he had seemed so cold lately. It must have been ridiculously obvious that I was planning for the end. As the tears welled up in my eyes, I began to feel as though I was drowning in a flood of guilt and remorse. I struggled for something else to say.
How long should the uncertainty stage last?
But hear me out. The reason why I determined that the relationship was failing was because I was unable to handle the uncertainty between Jack and I. Instead of expecting good things between us while taking a wait and see approach, I created my own meaning certain doom for our relationship for the uncertainty between us. By doing this, I had created a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I had shut down entirely once I felt uncertain about what was happening between us. Thou shalt not decide preemptively that things are going badly without actual evidence. The downward spiral that can result is intense. Nothing terrifies me more than being so close to someone and then watching them become a stranger again.
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- The Five Stages of Dating?
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If you were looking for something really fantastic and cool, then you found it! It's just too easy for people to quit the relationship that stuck at Power Struggle stage because it's just too much of hard work. They usually are not willing to face their problems, weaknesses, and themselves, they are afraid to face confront.
These seem easy, but in fact there are a lot of work to do, it's not easy to overcome the stage. When comes to this stage, you already become very clear that changing your partner is not the way to resolve the differences and you give up the desire to.
You are OK if you partner is different from you, that's her uniqueness. You already realized there's no way going to meet all needs of you two. You have clear boundaries and you respect her boundaries as well.
This Is The Problem With The ‘Uncertainty’ Stage Of Any Relationship
You accept her as an individual person and learn mutual respect. You won't be emotional because of the conflicts, instead you learn things from them. You both have evolved a set of role expectations and a set of rules for negotiating the differences. However, if you become too attached to the peace and stability you will get side effects - there will be no novelty and change in your relationship. Since there's nothing interesting in your love life, your love life will become boring very soon.
The worse is, there is no growth in your relationship. All growth involves risk, pain, and uncertainty, it requires a change and step outside your comfort zone. When comes to this stage you already fully surrender to the reality that there's no neither ideal partner nor ideal relationship. We all are human, and it's inevitable that all relationships have shortcomings.
You both love each other, but not necessarily like each other at all times. For instance, you love her, but you may dislike her certain behaviors. You are free to challenge and question her without worrying get into a Power Struggle. You are freedom in the act of choosing, you can honestly tell her you dislike what about her, you can let her know you love her and you choose her, but you don't need her.
You choose her because you know her, all good and bad. Such dichotomies don't take you both into argument. You begin to experience a beautiful of balance of love, belonging, fun, power, and freedom. There's a pitfall can occur at this stage with couples, which is thinking that their work is complete. It's true on an individual level, but the work in the world of the couple is just beginning.
This is the stage where you both are ready to be married. However, not all couple married at this stage, most people get married in Romance stage when they are blind with love, most of them haven't learned how to deal with differentness and difficulty. Therefore, they struggle in Power Struggle stage afterward. In this stage, you both move beyond the partnership to the world with applying what you have learned during the previous four stages. Your relationship becomes a gift to the world.
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Couples in this stage often engage in shared creative project that is intended in making a contribution to the world. However, you want to be careful not to invest so much energy in the relationship to "the world" and forget to nurture your relationship. You grow as you learn from these stages. And the learning is not a linear process, it's more like a spiral and circling upwards. You bring forward the lessons learned at each stage and become better at dealing with relationship.
You stuck at Power Struggle stage if you don't accept the fact that each person is different and learn how to fight in a way that achieves mutually acceptable outcome. You will keep arguing with your partner about the same things again and again until you overcome the Power Struggle Stage.
After that, you want to put into efforts to move on to the following stages, so you will have a happy and healthy relationship. Intimacy as a Path to Wholeness by Susan M.
When Is He Going To Propose?
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